Happy New Year. This
morning, I will speak about my Jewish Journey and what I learned as Temple
President.
Like some of you, I was brought up in a family of mixed
religions. My father was raised in the
Mennonite church. His Mennonite
experience was not good, so while he was very pious man, keeping the Mennonite
tradition was not on his list. I always thought my grandmother’s little white
cap, grey dress, & black shoes were pretty cool even though I didn’t always
understand why she wore them. As I got
older, I admired her for following the Mennonite tradition of not watching TV,
and never making me feel bad when I did.
My mother’s father was a Methodist Minister and we were raised
as Methodist. I have good memories of
these years. I remember trying to stay
quiet during service with my friends, the 25 African American church members
from NYC that visited for a weekend, and my time in our youth group. Some of my favorite youth group activities
were visiting the Jewish Congregation in town, selling Christmas trees, and
just spending time together; much like our youth group does here.
My journey here has been interesting and sometimes
challenging. When Paula & I began
talking about getting married, we discussed the importance of supporting each
other's religious traditions. For me it became important to share the same
religious traditions. I also knew that whether I was born into a Christian, Jewish,
Quaker, or some other faith, I would be the same person. I still would be an impulsive youngster (some
would say as an adult also), need to hire someone to fix my faucet, care deeply
about others, have awareness about people in other parts of the globe that I’ve
never met, and believe that I have a responsibility to try to make our world
better. In that sense, my faith was a
part of me, but it didn’t define me.
Prior to meeting me, Paula had spent time figuring out her
religious beliefs. During this
exploration, she realized that her Jewish identity and faith were very
important to her. Thank you Paula for
never pressuring me to choose in our 30 years together. When Collin was age six and Evan &
Lindsey were two, I asked Paula to stop celebrating Christmas which she had
done to honor my religious roots. At
that time we were living a Jewish life and raising our children Jewishly. We
belonged to Temple, lit Hanukkah candles and ate Gelt, volunteered in Religious
School, broke Fast and had Seder with others in Temple Sinai. I liked, and still appreciate, the focus on the positive that is so much a
part of being Jewish - mitzvahs, the time of joy and reflection during High
Holidays, the tradition of the Seder (I
still think Paula makes the best matzo ball soup & pot roast), the B'nai
mitzvah celebrations, and even the tradition of sitting Shiva.
Seventeen years after we got married, I decided that I
wanted to convert to Judaism. There
wasn’t a single event that triggered it, it just felt right. Paula and our children agreed to support and
help me, I met with Rabbi Glazier, & I went through the process with Nancy
Nadel. Nancy and I researched and
answered Rabbi’s 99 questions together over many months and converted the same
day. Conversion was not a road to
becoming more Jewish. It was the recognition of me being Jewish.
I also knew that I wanted to President of our Temple
someday, but had a rule that I would not hold volunteer positions with evening
meetings while our children were in school.
So, when they headed off to college, I knew that it was time to
"step up" into the leadership role.
It was still, a very busy time in my life, and I didn't know where the
time would come from. I knew that the
leaders are often very busy people and manage to fit it in. What is clear to me
is that we all find the time for things that are important to us and this was
very important to me. Being Jewish is still a journey, not a destination.
I would like to take a few minutes to reflect on my two years
as 1st Vice President and 20 months as President. From a selfish side, I have made friends that
I will have for the rest of my life. In
the string of Presidents, I worked so closely with Steve Greenfield, Howard
Kalfus, & current 1st Vice President Joel Goldberg. We have had early morning and late night
(late night is 9:00 pm for me) discussions.
We have faced challenges and celebrated successes together. I won't list the board members that I have
spent hours with, but am thankful to all of those that I served with. I am much closer to each of you and know that
we will always have the bond of leading together. Rabbi, I am thankful for getting to know
you better. I learned why being Rabbi is
important to you, your hopes and dreams for our Temple, and I have a better
understanding about how you think about things.
I truly appreciate the robust discussions we have on the
board and the willingness everyone has to support the decisions we made. One thing I did know when I became President
was that challenging board meetings and contentious decisions meant we were
leading. The different perspective of
the board members has changed my view of Temple. It has deepened my religious belief and
broadened my appreciation for different style of worshipping. The willingness to lead that many of you
non-board members have shown has been inspirational. Most of you said yes when you were asked you
to help and those that said no, followed it with "call me back next
year." This continually reminds me
that we all care about our Temple and each other.
I learned that people have often one experience that often
determines their action in Temple. One
member told me that she joined our congregation because we helped her so much
when she was injured. On the other side,
I have had conversations with people who left because of something someone said
to them. It made me realize that every
interaction we have with people has a greater impact on the person than we
think.
This time in my life has challenged my beliefs about God,
the Torah, our Shabbat services, and our family traditions. When leading others, I need to be clear about
what I believe. I am thankful for this
time of reflection.
On a very personal side, I was reminded how important my
family’s support is. Thank you Paula for
listening, your ideas, and your support.
Thanks to Collin, Evan, & Lindsey, who asked many times how it is
going and never missed an opportunity to encourage me.
In closing, I am certain that my grandparents and parents never
dreamed that I would be speaking to my Jewish congregation on the High
Holidays. I do hope that if they were
still with us, that they would take time to understand why this has become my religious
home, why it is important to me, that they would see the similarities rather
than focus on the differences. I fully
recognize that the "Traditions" are different. I also recognize that the "Vision"
is the same. One God, treating others
respectfully, & a united family is our shared vision. I am thankful that I found this Jewish
community, made wonderful friends, and provided a wonderful foundation for
Paula, our three children, and me to grow.
